The Talk
by the-Mad-Majesty-of-Muchness
Summary: Fiyero has that conversation that every parent dreads the most with his fifteen-year-old son upon Elphaba's demandance. Ah, the joys of parenthood...


**AN: Yes, my pretties, I am ACTUALLY going there. FIYERO AND LIIR ARE HAVING..._THE TALK!_ _DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!_ Oh boy...This oughta be loads of fun...I'M SO EVIL!**

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><p>"Alright, kid," Fiyero said with a sigh as he opened his son's bedroom door. "Your mom's making me give you <em>The Talk<em>, so let's get this over with, okay?" Fifteen-year-old Liir's eyes widened slightly. "Um...okay," he said.

Fiyero sighed again. "You better listen real closely, Liir, because I'm not repeating myself, we clear on that?" Liir nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good. And to make this as unakward as possible for both of us, I'll just give you the condensed version. Okay, so basically, here's what happens: Boy meets girl. Boy drools over girl. Girl calls boy a brainless moron. Boy and girl flirt shamelessly with each other, but refuse to admit that's what it is. One day, boy will decide to just suck it up already, so boy grabs girl and kisses her. Girl says, 'Finally! I've been waiting for you to do that for ages, and you only just now get up the nerve to actually do it? What the hell is wrong with you?'"

Liir laughed as his father continued.

"Anyway, boy shuts girl up with more snogging, and eventually, boy and girl both get bored with that, so boy takes girl back home with him, or to his dorm room, or where ever the heck his bed is. Door gets locked, boy and girl play with each other while not wearing any clothes, and nine months later, there's a baby. Got all that so far?"

"I think so."  
>"Good."<br>"Hey, Dad?"  
>"Yes, Liir?"<br>"Is that what happened with you and Mom?"

"No, Liir, what happened between your mother and I involved much more screaming and hitting in the early stages of our relationship than most couples go through. Namely me getting smacked upside the head with hardback textbooks thicker than your arm while your mother screeched profanities at me at the top of her lungs so the entire freaking school campus could hear her."

"Oh. What stage was that at again?"

"The 'boy and girl flirt shamelessly but refuse to admit that's what it is' stage. Or at least I _think_ she was flirting with me. Man, I sure hope that's what she was doing, because if it wasn't, then no wonder some of the things I said back then pissed her off so damn much."

"FIYERO!"

"Dad, what did you do?"  
>"Nothing, I swear!"<br>"You sure? 'Cause she sounds_ mad."_

"FIYERO DAETHIEN, WHERE THE _HELL_ ARE YOU?"

Fiyero and Liir exchanged a look. "Middle name," Fiyero said. "And I repeat," Liir replied, "she is _mad."_ Fiyero nodded. "Yeah. No clue why, though."  
>"Is this what it's like at the beginning?"<p>

Fiyero shook his head as he opened the door. "Worse," he said. "Much, _much_ worse. Do yourself a favor, Liir; Never, and I mean _never_ upset a hormonal pregnant woman, even if you have no idea what the hell you did."

_"FIYERO!"_

"COMING, FAE!" He sighed and looked at Liir again. _"Never."_ Liir smirked, looking almost exactly like his father as he did so. Just like that, Fiyero was gone.

"You got it, Dad," he muttered, laughing as he went back to the sketch he'd been working on before Fiyero had come in. "You got it."

_FINI_

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><p><strong>AN: Yeees, Fiyero's middle name is Daethien. Or at least according to me it is. Liir's got a twin sister named Nydarella (Nyda for short) who appeared in the final chapter of my parody (in which they were about four or five years old), but she doesn't show up in this one. Sorry. Don't worry, though, I'm working on some stuff with plenty of Liir &amp; Nyda sibling goodness in it! (i.e ripping each other's hair out by the roots, all that good stuff that siblings love to do to each other that my own brother and I live for XD) AND YES, ELPHIE'S PREGGERS WITH KID #3 IN THIS ONE IN CASE YOU COULDN'T TELL BY WHAT FIYERO SAID AT THE END! <strong>

**And yes, Liir sketches. Or at least he does in my stories. Not as much as Nyda, though. I've decided that Liir and Nyda are my "Keeper Kids" for Fiyeraba. In other words, they're who I'm going to use for most, if not all, of my stories in which they have kids. Just like I'm sticking with Zerelda and Reynard for Fiyero's parents, Sarima and Niobe for his siblings, and Irji/Manek/Nor as his..Well, he's their uncle. They're Sarima's kids. Each one has a different dad and...well...long story short, Manek's the oldest, Nor's the youngest, they've got THE best uncle in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, and they're all half-siblings. It gets explained in detail in_ Complications._**

**SPEAKING of which, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry I haven't updated that in a while! BELIEVE ME, I WANT TO SO BADLY, I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH IT AND I WANT TO SHARE THE AWESOMENESS WITH ALL OF YOU!**

***sigh of exasperation* UNFORTUNATELY, my stupid Microsoft Word Program is DEMANDING a product key every time I turn it on, and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT OR WHERE THE STUPID THING IS! I've started the second chapter, but IT'S NOT LETTING ME TYPE A SINGLE LETTER UNTIL I GET THE STUPID KEY! *cries in frustration***

***sniffle* But...here's a little preview to hold you over until I get this fixed :'-)**

It was her eyes that had really enraptured him, though. The same rich brown as freshly overturned earth with silver flecks of mica that glinted subtly in the late afternoon sunlight that had been coming through the windows at the time.

The moment those eyes met his for the first time, Fiyero suddenly remembered hearing that a perosn's eyes were the windows to their soul. Although he had always thought he knew the meaning of those words-at least to a certain extent, anyway-he realized now as he made his way down the sidewalk that he had never truly understood them until yesterday.

He had looked into that girl's eyes and, yes, he had seen her soul. It had been a beautiful thing. Enough so to rival even that of his younger sister who he loved more than anything in the world.

**There you have it. Some awesome fluffy Fiyeraba goodness from Fiyero's side of things! "The eyes are the windows to the soul." I love that quote so much, and I've been looking for someplace to use it for a while now, so I though this was a good story to do that in.**

**Love and hugs,  
>Maggie the Mad Majesty of Muchness<strong>

**PS: I started school 3 weeks ago and I LOVE my theatre buddies! Ask me about them and our school play we're getting ready for!**


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